I've never really been that good at introductory paragraphs, so do you mind if I go straight into the blog? No? Good.
I've actually had a relatively exciting day (by my standards), I'll start with school. For me, the only bad thing about Wednesdays is the fact I have 'core studies' (and there's no Eastenders). If you're not familiar with it - lucky you - it's basically an hour a week spent learning about 'basic skills and life's necessities'. So instead of revising for exams or actually doing a subject which leads to any qualifications, we study the ins and outs of copyright infringement and create posters about the legal age for buying a scratch card. Did you know, if you bought an 'exspensive sports bag' in October and gave it to someone for Christmas but found out it was faulty, you may not be entitled to a refund? Oh, you don't care? Me neither. I have to say though, it's no so bad because it allows us to mingle with the lower sets for a bit, the stuff they come out with is like chocolate for the ears.
"I'm having this baby because my grandma had my mum at the age of 14 and me and my mum turned out perfectly fine..."Says the slaggiest, skankiest 'girl' in the year. Let's call her Makosi. Although she is the same age as me, just last year she got engaged to her on-off boyfriend of 10 months. Makosi smokes, drinks, is thick as shit and yet she think's it'll be a good choice to bring a child into the world? HA. After my friend and I let out a few laughs at the whole prospect of her being a mother, she threatened to break all our a bones and give us two black eyes. Such fun!
My mum wrote a note for me so I got to sit out during P.E. If I'm honest, if I had known what he'd make me do, I would've rather played rugby - headache or not. First, he told me to walk around the field and pick up all the litter. LITTER PICK?! Oh what treasures I saw, a couple dozen empty bottles of cider (I swear some were refilled with piss), a few Toffee Crisp wrappers and a half eaten apple (yes, I was as surprised as you are - chavs eat fruit?!). Then, he insisted I heaved the dummies to the middle of the field. Yet he somehow failed to tell me the other side was covered in mud, I ended up with more mud on me than most of the kids actually playing!
The only other memorable thing is the 10 minutes James and I spent cackling about Adele's cackle. See below for the greatest thing you will ever hear:
In other news, at about 4 o'clock today, a man was seen on top of the local Asda. Yes, a man was on the roof of a supermarket. Apparently, he threatened a member of staff with a knife and then made his way through the shop and somehow, ended up on the roof. After a several hour confrontation, involving a police helicopter, I believe he has made his way down safely. Too further add to the excitement the day beckoned, just before 7pm, a loud bang shook the houses of my town. BOOM (love a bit of onomatopoeia)! After scrolling through the endless amount of Facebook posts (which mainly consisted of "OMGG!! Jus erd a big ban! wot woz it?!!1!" and "SO SCARED! TOLD YOU THE WORLD WAS GONNA END IN 2012!"), it's still not entirely clear why/how it happened. A few theories suggested are: it was the sound of the gunshot that
was supposedly aimed at the infamour 'Asda man' - which is entirely untrue as he eventually came down, unharmed and another being a sonic boom (when something reaches and surpasses the speed of sound) caused the thud, this was backed up by several sightings of a plane over head just after the noise. I personally think it was just a wild Snorlax farting.
That just about wraps up the blog, I'm off to finish my scone (how typically British of me) and probably watch Celebrity Big Brother - don't judge me! Talk to you tomorrow!
Joshua x
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Finished: 18/01/12 - 22:14
