Hei.
I haven't really done much today apart from complain about having a bad back (and eating), I wouldn't have had one if  I wasn't forced to sleep on the sofa, last night. As lovely as our sofa is, I won't be making a habit of it.


I was awoken by the sounds of my mum and older brother arguing. FUN. I'll fill you in on the back story firs. Lets call my older brother, Tobias, at the age of 19, he decided (well, not exactly decided) to get his 17 year old girlfriend, she can be Mercedes, pregnant. Its frightening to try and think back to the days where this sort of predicament would be severely frowned upon and not met with welcoming arms like it is in today's society. I say that, but my mother was never really, truly happy with the whole ordeal - it probably reminded her too much of her own teen years (and the fact she actually despised Mercedes). Now lets fast forward to just a few months ago, me and my younger brother slept at Tobias' house one night and my mum arrived in the morning to pick us up, like she usually does. However, when she got there, she wasn't too happy. She was 'disgusted' at the state of the house (it wasn't the tidiest of places...) and let my brother and his now fiancé, know about it. A slanging match inevitably occurred and it ended with my brother not speaking to my mum for a few weeks. The next time they spoke was when Tobias told my mum she can't see her grandson again (he was against it, but Mercedes insisted). Two weeks later, Tobias moved back in with us and they had supposedly split up. It was like this for about a month, if my brother had grown a pair in the first place and stood up to his girlfriend, it would have never happened. IT WAS ALL A BIT DRAMATIC (I usually just sat upstairs, out of the way, eating). But today, he's finally gone back to her. Yea - more room in the house! Nay - my mum feels like shit.


I know today's generation aren't as sharp as others that have passed, but my younger brother (faux-name: Kornelius Francis Chimp - KFC for short) gave me a wonderful, intelligent insight into his mind earlier on whilst we were watching 'Talent Show Story' - it showed some black and white clips of decommissioned programmes.

"You know back in the olden days? What happened when everything suddenly turned into colour? Like not black and white any more."

I was in stitches. I literally fell on the floor, pissing myself (this, not so literal). He actually thought, everything was black and white in the 'olden days'. He's twelve! Fair enough if he was still in primary school  and only getting to grips with the world, but he's in his first year of high school! After I got my breath back, I attempted to explain how the world was actually in colour and it was just the low quality cameras. I still don't think he fully understands.


For some reason, the date on this blog has gone a bit 'David Cameron and Celine Dion's love child-y', so just pretend it says '22 Jan'. Edit: It's working now! Resume normal service. But yeah, I'm off to finish my cheese and crackers (I ate all the grapes whilst revising). Talk to you tomorrow!
Joshua x


pretty picture:

i actually adore typewriters

Finished: 22.01.12 - 23:30

Salut. 

I've never really been that good at introductory paragraphs, so do you mind if I go straight into the blog? No? Good.

I've actually had a relatively exciting day (by my standards), I'll start with school. For me, the only bad thing about Wednesdays is the fact I have 'core studies' (and there's no Eastenders). If you're not familiar with it - lucky you - it's basically an hour a week spent learning about 'basic skills and life's necessities'. So instead of revising for exams or actually doing a subject which leads to any qualifications, we study the ins and outs of copyright infringement and create posters about the legal age for buying a scratch card. Did you know, if you bought an 'exspensive sports bag' in October and gave it to someone for Christmas but found out it was faulty, you may not be entitled to a refund? Oh, you don't care? Me neither.  I have to say though, it's no so bad because it allows us to mingle with the lower sets for a bit, the stuff they come out with is like chocolate for the ears.  

"I'm having this baby because my grandma had my mum at the age of 14 and me and my mum turned out perfectly fine..."

Says the slaggiest, skankiest 'girl' in the year.  Let's call her Makosi. Although she is the same age as me, just last year she got engaged to her on-off boyfriend of 10 months. Makosi smokes,  drinks, is thick as shit and yet she think's it'll be a good choice to bring a child into the world? HA.  After my friend and I let out a few laughs at the whole prospect of her being a mother, she threatened to break all our a bones and give us two black eyes. Such fun!


My mum wrote a note for me so I got to sit out during P.E. If I'm honest, if I had known what he'd make me do, I would've rather played rugby - headache or not.  First, he told me to walk around the field and pick up all the litter. LITTER PICK?! Oh what treasures I saw, a couple dozen empty bottles of cider (I swear some were refilled with piss), a few Toffee Crisp wrappers and a half eaten apple (yes, I was as surprised as you are - chavs eat fruit?!). Then, he insisted I heaved the dummies to the middle of the field. Yet he somehow failed to tell me the other side was covered in mud, I ended up with more mud on me than most of the kids actually playing!


The only other memorable thing is the 10 minutes James and I spent cackling about Adele's cackle. See below for the greatest thing you will ever hear: 

I got over 70 notes on a Tumblr image today too! A new record for me, a very proud moment indeed. Here's my Tumblr >>> ooo mysterious link that can lead to anywhere! (If anywhere, is in fact my Tumblr page). <<< I follow back!


In other news, at about 4 o'clock today,  a man was seen on top of the local Asda. Yes, a man was on the roof of a supermarket. Apparently, he threatened a member of staff with a knife and then made his way through the shop and somehow, ended up on the roof. After a several hour confrontation, involving a police helicopter, I believe he has made his way down safely.  Too  further add to the excitement the day beckoned, just before 7pm, a loud bang shook the houses of my town. BOOM (love a bit of onomatopoeia)!  After scrolling through the endless amount of Facebook posts (which mainly consisted of "OMGG!! Jus erd a big ban! wot woz it?!!1!" and "SO SCARED! TOLD YOU THE WORLD WAS GONNA END IN 2012!"), it's still not entirely clear why/how it happened. A few theories suggested are: it was the sound of the gunshot that 
was supposedly aimed at the infamour 'Asda man' - which is entirely untrue as he eventually came down, unharmed and another being a sonic boom (when something reaches and surpasses the speed of sound) caused the thud, this was backed up by several sightings of a plane over head just after the noise.  I personally think it was just a wild Snorlax farting.


That just about wraps up the blog, I'm off to finish my scone (how typically British of me) and probably watch Celebrity Big Brother - don't judge me! Talk to you tomorrow! 
Joshua x


pretty picture:

83 notes and counting!

Finished: 18/01/12 - 22:14